R. treats me incredibly well.
So did Major Dentist. So did E. So did LTExB. (That's the three of my longest boyfriends.)
So did Nick. He was the only one I didn't sleep with.
I'm holding out. I want this to go well. I want him to like me and not just the sex. Is that what happened with the other three? Well, I know for certain it did with one of them. (One was crazy, the third abusive.)
And then there's the part of me that says, hey, why bother with this guy, it won't work. He'll be abusive. He'll treat you like crap. He'll have an addiction to something. He'll die.
Just when I think I'm in an okay place, I take a step back. Or two steps.
I don't want to screw this up, but I don't know how to do it right.